I can just imagine St. Peter showing up at the Pearly Gates greeting the Lord after his own death saying, “whoa! I was so not ready for that! but thank you for trusting me.” More likely he said, “I did my best Lord I hope it was enough.” I woke up thinking about St. Peter this morning, how he is the Rock on which Jesus chose to build his Church. Matthew 16:18. Peter learned from Jesus. And every time that Peter thought he had it right, he would say or do something and Jesus corrected, rebuked him.
Peter wasn’t quite ready. Peter even denied Jesus three times because he still wasn’t quite ready to lead. Peter still needed a little deeper understanding, a little more, a deeper experience. He needed the experience as he had the training.
An article in Generation Q Magazine prompted an email to a friend with a few questions about the self-publishing process. Rather than answering directly she said go take a look at the book submission process and start filling out the paperwork. Even if I chose to go the self-publishing route I’d be well ahead on the process with a really good understanding of what’s involved.
Five years ago I’d started filling this out and stopped. Just.Stopped.
I wasn’t quite ready.
I needed more time.
I needed to spend more time teaching and going through some real life (instead of internet groups and friends) problems solving with students.
I needed to write.
I needed more.
I started filling out the submission once again and had the very clear realization that there is a significant change. I may not be 100% ready but the it’s much easier to fill out the necessary information. Even the stuff I’ll have to think about.
St. Peter wasn’t exactly ready to take on full leadership of the Church but through the gift of the Holy Spirit and his experience, he did. I’m going to work on taking that risk.