Waiting for

bushkill falls 1Didja ever feel like you were waiting for some big event to happen that will put everything to rights in your world? You know the event I’m talking about, the one where everything is just this perfect, utopian paradise? Everything falls into place and suddenly life is just magical. Yeah, that. Sometimes I dream about what that would look like.

Part of this dream is a major make over of my quilt studio: a sewing table that is just the perfect height for this fun size quilter, I already have a great machine (B 780) and a great chair. I’d love for the room to be a bit larger with much more natural light, slightly diffused with some kind of sheer, puddled curtain at the middle end of the day. It’s be fun too if the ceilings were a bit higher. Like 2 feet.  Just enough to give the room some height but not so much that the utility bill is higher than the roof.
And a wall painted orange, a gorgeous autumn inspired orange, close to pumpkin or as bright as an orange leaf with the sun shining through. I love orange so very much. Did I mention that the wall needs to be orange? And it needs to be the full wall, not the wall with the door. I want to walk in and see it. And room to have the vintage/antique sewing machines up for show. They are pretty and I don’t like hiding them away the way they are now.
More storage, I’d love to have more storage that uses more of the available horizontal wall space allowing enough space above left to hang those things that inspire me: the quilts, the paintings from friends and the gift of the Australian stone.
Chalkboard cloth or paint hung near enough to to the sewing machine to practice stitches (draw) or write all of the amazing and not so amazing ideas that float through my head.
A lovely desk, a warm pine with space for my laptop and an area to do paperwork and draw and dream and plan.

A quilter can dream that’s for sure.

but

Here I am in a room that is not my “ideal” and quilt pretty well.
It’s important to live here and now rather than down the road in a place that does not exist. Here and now is a pretty cool place to be. I have great a great spouse, amazing friends, songs and quilts to remind me that I’m on the right path. I do think there’s something more however it’s not quite time yet. There is probably more work needed on my part. No, there is more work needed on my part.

Because this is Something Beautiful.

Need to BreatheSomething Beautiful

In your ocean, I’m ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin’ on my feet
It’s like I know where I need to be
But I can’t figure out, yeah I can’t figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There’s only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin’ quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can’t be sure when it will subside
So I won’t leave your side, no I can’t leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn’t live like this
I wouldn’t stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won’t have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful [fade out]

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2 thoughts on “Waiting for

  1. Yes. I know that. I was consumed by that wish, not for a beautiful workspace — in truth, I hardly notice my surroundings while I work. But my overpowering desire for something I could not have. Consumed. Overtaken, spun through the tornado until I was ill, beaten, broken… And finally spit out to recover oh so slowly. And yes, the recovery requires, demands, living now, living what I have. Exploring and stretching, but not reaching for something that cannot be. Now is all you have. Now is all I have. I have POWER in NOW, not in the future, and not in the past. I must stay in NOW to keep the tornado from swirling me away again. I might not come out of it in such good shape a second time. Yes, I might not come out in such good shape. NOW is all I have.

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