We all have memories that we’d consider weird, or unusual, or wonder why this particular memory keeps coming to mind. I remember learning the meaning of Barnabas, Son of Encouragement. Encouragement is a good thing, to bolster another’s courage is to let them know they are not alone, and that they can take on whatever task. For some reason I also remember thinking that Batnabas would be a good name. I’m not thinking that so much any longer because I’m older and wiser (?).
So one afternoon someone asked me if they could do something. My,
not like me response, “I don’t know.” Because honestly I didn’t know. The person didn’t like or appreciate it, taking a moment to let me know. The door was closed. I couldn’t shove it open for anything to walk back through.
I’ll tell you that T’was Not a fun moment in an otherwise whirling, detritus filled day. You know, the days that don’t stop from beginning to end? Where what needs to be accomplished and what is accomplished is an ever-changing list of urgentthingstodealwithrightnow!, in the moment this needs to be done right now? And two moments leave you completely unsettled and wondering “if”.
Sometimes quilt doors are closed. Firmly. Boarded up with a “No Entry For You” sign placed firmly on the door. I’ve come to realize, that’s okay. It’s not always peaceful, nor painless. But, it’s okay, particularly when it brings peace to the heart, calm in the soul. Learning to accept that the doors are closed, and the peace that comes with it is such a good and holy thing. Learning to accept that means growth, new life. It means that weeds are pulled, aerating the soil, allowing for the flowers to bloom. Oh so many gardening analogies are running through my head. And it’s like good editing, it makes you sound good. More like you. Good editing takes away the superfluous stuff, leaving the better words, getting directly to the point. O!!! Oh.
Most of the time I am the encouraging, supportive sort. And then there are those moments when, for a variety of reasons, I’m not. When that happens I am in need of support, encouragement, my tank has run empty. Time to go fill up.