So, in an earlier part of my life part of my work was to go to conferences to promote the ministry my sweetie and I worked with. When I first started going it was particularly challenging because my personal preference would be to blend into the nearest wall, becoming invisible, unseen. This wasn’t about me and quite honestly I had no idea why on earth I was doing this! Oh Lord what do you want from me? After a while something in me shifted, I accepted that going to conferences, talking with people about faith, ministry, and where God was leading was a good thing. As I got to know the ministry well enough, the vision, the call, the next scary thing was being asked to work with and train the new folks. So essentially I might work with the new people for a long period of time.
At some point something shifted and I could see myself, though it wasn’t in God’s plan or timing at that moment, being a speaker at the various conferences. I could see sharing the faith experience. There is still something niggling there. I’m not quite sure what or why. And truthfully I’m wholly uncertain about where I am in life at the moment. Anyone who knows me well will know that I usually get completely freaked out at this point. I can not be certain what in me has shifted. Am I trusting God more? Maybe. I don’t know.
The other day Mary deTurris Poust shared the meme above. It speaks, in a deep way, the journey of faith. The doubt, which is good. The uncertainty, which is good, normal, and part of each step. While a lot feels so out of control, that there is a storm raging on, there is a sense of calm, and peace in the midst of this. I hope that I’m enjoying the beauty of becoming whatever, whomever it is that God is calling me to be.
I have always had this deep sense that I am, if nothing else ever at all, the support for others. Not to tell them where to go, what to do, how to do whatever it is but rather to listen, to ask questions, to think things through and offer a different perspective. It’s also been clear that God has placed within my circle of friends some who are a great support system. My husband is always there. There are others though and I’m grateful. We can share where we are, our struggles, the rocky road of this particular place in our journey.
I know I’ve been sharing a lot about struggle lately. That’s part of everyone’s life journey. A journey of faith often has times that are difficult. We often don’t want to speak about those difficulties for fear that we will be judged harshly by the listener. Yes, I just said that. And it’s more about the fear of being judged than it is about the person listening. Living in fear is NOT what God wants of us. Not on our journey, not with each other, not with our quilting.
Just as we practice our faith, we practice quilting. With each quilt, with each technique we learn we find our way, we find who we are as quilt makers. We find the path that brings us great joy, in and through the struggles of learning whatever part of quilt making we’re trying to learn, or an area we’re trying to become better in, develop and hone the skill that God has given us.
I have in mind a quilt to make, hopefully this Sunday, that will honor the memory of a quilter who has had an influence the quilting industry. One who has paved the path so that I, as a youngish wannabe, may quilt the way I choose, how I choose, and have a career in quilting.
If I haven’t said it I’m grateful to be quilting. I’m grateful for quilting. I’m grateful for the journey that has brought me here. I’m grateful for the opportunities to learn, grow, and become.