Stories have an impact. Stories are very much part of who we are, they are part of the fabric, the warp and weft of our very being. Stories are part of how we share our faith. Stories of great struggle, and triumphs great and small. The threads, as they must, change color, as people, and experiences enter, and depart our lives. We too inform, color, and change the lives of others. Some add bright color and highlights, some add low lights, adding depth, both adding richness to the fabric. We never quite know how a person will add to the fabric of our life.
Before I met him my sweetie would visit a monastery in Vermont. Imagine beautiful mountains, fresh air, prayer, praise. One morning he woke up to the mountains shrouded in fog, dense fog, so dense that you can’t see three feet in front of you fog. After waiting as long as possible for the fog to lift he headed home. *This part always has me tightening up all over* He drove through the mountains, in that pea soup thick fog, with his hazard lights on, his drivers side door ajar so he could see the the line in the center of the road. Ascending, and descending mountains until he reached a main road, and was clear of the fog.
For a while I’ve experienced being enveloped, shrouded in dense fog. I don’t know that it is the fog of depression…it’s felt deeper, stranger. The shroud of fog is lifting from around my being. Though it niggles at the edges of my being. My sweeties story gives something of a glimpse of my head and heart space. I’m taking a look at the fabric of my life and appreciating both the high and low lights. Appreciating that I’ve appeared in the fabric of others life as both high and low lights. Appreciating that on occasion I’ve taken a risk and let some people go, let some people stay. And in looking sometimes while it’s not always the right choice the fabric and the quilt are not quite what I’ve imagined, it’s something much more.
The last few days at the urging of a friend I’ve been listening to a series of TED talks while I work. As the TED talk play the voice of a friend reminding me to show up for the work. Showing up to do the work of faith, to do the work of quilting, of writing, of holding onto hope. Yes. I’m doing the work of holding onto HOPE. The TED talks also remind me of creative genius, that it is something outside myself that I am privileged to enter into, to dance with. I’m reminded of who I am as a quilter becomes clearer as the journey moves forward. Today I write patterns and a proposal, and contact a few shops about teaching. I continue to look for full-time work as this is part of the journey.
I don’t know where I’m going but am enjoying the journey. I’m enjoying how this life story is unfolding.
May you have a faith filled and good day.