Don’t let Fear

Our Father
Who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Kingdom Come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our debts; as we forgive our debtors
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

cropped-1361.jpgEach evening before dinner my sweetie reads from a meditation book to bring our focus to the Lord. Sometimes it’s fairly easy to listen to, others not so much. It’s never easy being called to deeper conversion, needing to take a moment to examine your own heart and even worse, embrace the mercy and healing that God wants so much to give, so very freely.

1448228254869Fear. All throughout the day Fear cropped up invading my heart, and mind. To begin to say it was unpleasant is an understatement. I wanted nothing more than to crawl up in a quilt fort for weeks on end. Lots of quilters have posted this kind of thing lately and I can’t tell if this is some kind of quilterly self-doubt, or if we’re on the verge of something absolutely amazing.
Holding onto fear is akin to holding onto a hot poker. It’s giving into what if thinking in the worst way. When my sweetie read the meditation conviction took root in my heart, beginning the weeding out of the fear. As I thought about this fear the song lyrics, “don’t let fear keep us apart” took up residence in my head, and the song “Oceans” started playing. It is in this moment when as sense of deep abiding trust started settling into my heart.

I’ve been listening to Ocean’s for such a long time, today I heard something new, Trust, Hope. The words haven’t changed, these themes live in the words. The imagination leads to the disciples in the boat, freaked out and tossed by the waves, Jesus sleeping completely at peace. Some part of me gets this sleeping, being at peace, when Hurricane Sandy blew through once I got into my own bed I slept just fine; part of me wonders how on earth that can happen.

13908834_10154349701005960_7537953136452448769_oAnd then someone mentioned to me that a Call for Submissions for a particular teaching gig. Well I’d never considered that. When a whole group of friends posted that they were teaching at this event I cheered them on. Of course, why wouldn’t I. Teaching myself wasn’t something I’d considered. After all, what the heck do I have to offer? Well, the conversation went on further and well, wow. While it was three sentences, it got me thinking about putting out into the deep, about trusting where this might be leading, about wondering how to take this step well, and quickly. I don’t know where this will lead, however my brain continues to process this with reckless abandon. So after a conversation with a couple of people I’m going to ahead and submit. I might end up doing something I’d never dreamed, or getting rejected either way I will have tried this. So I’m thinking praying, and in the midst of the whirling, churning I’m trusting, letting go of fear.

Oh quilters as I write, think, pray, quilt, piece, and become I’m so glad you’re with me. Praying with and for me.

God bless,

Teri

 

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