How long, LORD? Will you utterly forget me?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I carry sorrow in my soul,
grief in my heart day after day?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look upon me, answer me, LORD, my God!
Give light to my eyes lest I sleep in death,
Lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed,”
lest my foes rejoice at my downfall.
But I trust in your mercy.
Grant my heart joy in your salvation,
I will sing to the LORD,
for he has dealt bountifully with me!
I asked a friend her favorite scripture on waiting, “how long O Lord”, and then said Psalm 13. And I fell in love with this song all over again…for it is a lament, a longing, a deep expression of sorrow. What captured my heart is, “But I trust in your mercy. Grant my heart joy in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has dealt bountifully with me.”
The Psalmist expresses honesty wondering how long whatever was happening in that moment must be endured. And the calming, caring, utterly beautiful truth of God’s grace, and mercy bringing joy to the heart because of the bounty of the Lord. God and I have had these angsty conversations lately. These are important conversations as they are honest. God can take it, I mean if Jesus can cry out in Gethsemane, “Take this cup from me, not my will but yours”. The next bit is a bit challenging. And then comes the resurrection, the Ultimate Show of God’s Bounty, God’s Love, God’s Promise.
And I’m quilting for the sheer joy of it. I have a purpose for this, however there is no due date attached to it. Sometimes things in life are not as pleasant, joyful, and happy as I’d (we’d) like. It’d be great if everything were always chocolate cake, ice cream, and red wine. I do love me a good glass or two of red wine. Sigh. As the stitching continues I am able to pray through some of the experiences of the last few years. Yes, years. I have moments now, time now, and the presence of mind and heart to be present to pray through this. It’s not easy. Just like I know my quilting is not perfect, I could point out flaws in a lot of my recent work including the piece above here. This piece isn’t about my best work. This piece is about reconnecting with God, trusting that relationship with Him, Oh how needed this is.
My sweetie was right about one thing that’s for sure without quilting, my soul will wither away. This soul was indeed withering. The quilting is water, and nourishment, and sunlight, and the Breath of the Spirit. I’m going to go breathe and pray for a bit.