Unraveling my Heart

Over the last few days I’ve enjoyed, and deeply benefited from an enchanting romp with Creative Brain.

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Ahhh stitching how I love you!

A post shared by Teri Lucas (@terilucas) on

Sitting at the machine and stitching is leading to thoughts of so many other projects. And starting of projects, it’s overwhelming in a good way. It’s nearly time to start the idea list back up. I have an idea for list keeping too, I would like to make a space on the wall that is chalkboard paint.

Where in Adam and Eve make a different point

I had cause to think of that First Couple of All First Couples, Adam and Eve. I’ve always heard God as being angry when he started calling out, “Adam! Adam! Where are you?!” Tonight though I heard something else.

After my sweetie and I arrive, genuflect, and select our seats we either read, or he reads and I kneel in prayer. Prayers lately have morphed from asking/seeking to “Thank You for this moment in life, and all that it brings.” While the needs have not changed, I am with some effort, choosing to work on not being anxious, or fearful. Trusting that this moment, this season while seeming fallow and dry will lead a restoration of a lush and vibrant faith once enjoyed. But different, ya know?

After a little bit I sat in the pew and started thinking. You know the thoughts that whirl, swirl around seeking connection? Those. I started composing a letter with the aforementioned whirling thoughts. They came together in an unexpected order, “Why do take something really good, and twist it up into something just so ugly?”

FULL STOP! WHAT?!

That’s when The Original First Couple came to mind. I’ve always heard God calling out to Adam (and Eve) in anger. Instead of hearing God calling out in anger for Adam I heard a longing that comes from a relationship of trust broken by the misguided, yet willful, act of picking and eating of the fruit. God trusted Adam and Eve with the the care of the Garden. God Trusted Them. Adam and Eve broke that trust, having to leave the Garden, and everything that came with it is a natural consequence of deliberately breaking that trust. God though, longed for His Creation to be restored to Himself. While the Journey was long, when the time was right, that Restoration in the person of Jesus came. But think about it, God LONGS for us. God LONGS to be in right relationship with us. We often wonder why things happen.

20170526_145224-1

We learn of God’s longing for us when the relationship breaks, when trust is broken. We learn of this deep passion and love for us when the well (of creativity) runs dry and all we have left is the day to day work.

Our human relationships can break when trust is broken.

There are times when the break must be permanent. I won’t even begin to try to tell anyone that the relationship, no matter what it is, should be restored. Sometimes relationships need a time out. And the space needs to be respected, honored. Over the last several years I’ve had quilters enter into my life, and leave, and I’ve walked away from a few. Sometimes not knowing what I’ve done, when I might not have actually done anything. Sometimes it’s not about me. With the few I’ve walked away from…

Sometimes we know that something done or said was twisted into something ugly, and unintended. Often the knowing doesn’t make the loss of the relationship any easier. When something gets twisted up ugly there is serious work to do. Much like picking unwanted stitches from a quilt. Necessary but wholly not fun.

Twilight for NQA
2/3 of the original quilting was ripped out

Not everything about quilting works the first time, in the right order. Sometimes quilts must be set aside in order to give them time to speak to us. Sometimes they need to go live in other homes, not because they’ve been naughty, but because. This says nothing about us, or the quilt. Our willingness to let go of projects so that we can move forward in our work is a good thing. As one friend told me, “sometimes a quilt has taught us everything it could.” Some quilts we can come back to, when the time is right. There are a few sitting on my shelf that need my attention, that are calling me, telling me what’s next. Restoring. Renewing. Refreshing.

Today I will work on a quilt that needs my time. And, I will begin the letter started in my head. Both need to be restored to a right relationship. The quilt I know can happen it’s been speaking to me. The other, we’ll just have to see. My relationship with God, well that is a door that never closes, and I’m just so in love.

God bless,

Teri

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