In a couple of weeks I am going to host the Blessed is She/Westchester Brunch. After emailing with the group leader we have a theme for the discussion which led me to thinking about both the Garden of Gethsemane, and Good Friday on the Cross when Jesus says, “It is finished.” There’s another, better word than finished that Elizabeth Scalia writes in this blog post, “it is consummated”.
You know over the last couple of years I’ve been praying Oceans by Hillsong.
This morning I realized I’ve been singing/praying variations of that song for much longer.
And then I went a bit further back thinking about one of the songs my Sweetie and I chose for our wedding. Of course the name eludes me at the moment.
Each one of these songs, prayers is a, “Yes” to God, a willingness to go where he leads, to be formed in His Love, to live, “Not my will but Thy will be done”. When Elizabeth offered, “It is consummated” as Jesus’ final word on the cross I remember thinking that those words made more sense in the self-giving, self-donation fully human, fully God Loving us with everything He has.
A couple of weeks ago I started reading Hallie Lord‘s On the Other Side of Fear, How I Found Peace again. In those first couple of chapters I could see how I am withholding my whole self from God. Okay God is God and knows all of me and deeply loves me as His kid. But what I’m doing is praying for things that would make my life easier and whining that it’s not happening. I’m not living the things I prayed and lived earlier in my life with deep peace and a sense of freedom. I’ve wanted safety and security these come from a place of fear and spiritual immaturity. There I said it. phew.
As I’ve prayed over the last several months the word I keep hearing is Trust. Now what does this have to do with the brunch, and the songs, and the prayers? So, so much. We all know that in a marriage relationship we must trust one another, support one another, care for one another. We get to, like a bride and groom on their wedding day, continue saying yes to each other. Like Jesus said yes on the Cross, fully and completely in his Body, completely, consummately.
And so today I’m reminded to say Yes to where God is leading, to be open to the grace of this moment rather than worrying about what may come. To live in freedom rather than fear and shame. Today I pray Oceans, Song of a Servant, Take Lord Receive and “Thy will be done.”